Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Four Twenty!

Today is April 20, better known as 4-20. The day most celebrated by marijuana enthusiasts across the world by smoking the thing they love best. Little do people know that there is a special person involved with this holiday, and that is Weed Santa.

Weed Santa at a shopping mall with a follower and this smoking canine friend, Killer. Have you been good for Weed Santa this year? Posted by Hello

Just like his counterparts the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, Weed Santa brings joy to all of the good little boys and girls through out the world. On 4-20 Eve night, Weed Santa visits children all over to bring them good cannabis for a successful 4-20 day.

Since Weed Santa is little known through out the world, I decided to explain 4-20 Eve by adapting "Twas the Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore and change it to "Twas the Night Before 4-20 Yo." Instead of the story taking place in the home of a rich man and his family, it takes place in a 1968 Volkswagon Bus that is parked in a Wal Mart parking lot in small town USA with a couple and their weed dealer friend living out of the van.

Twas the Night Before 4-20 Yo
Adapted by Jared Stene from "Twas the Night Before Christmas"

Twas the night before 4-20, when all through the van
Not a creature was stirring, not even an ant;
The stockings were hung by the dash with care,
In hopes that Weed Santa soon would be there;
The dealer was nestled all snug in sleeping bag,
While visions of Benjamin’s danced in his head;
And mamma with her bong, and I with my bowl,
Had just settled down for a long spring night high,
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the glove compartment I quickly hid my stash,
Rolled down the window and threw up my hands.
The street light on the breast of the asphalt
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects around,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature green sleigh, and eight tiny tie dye reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Cannabis.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dre! now, Snoop! now, Marley and Buffet!
On, Clinton! on Willie!, Chapelle and Blitzen!
To the top of the roof! to the top of the Wal Mart!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the van roof-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of weed, and St. Cannabis too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the sun roof St. Cannabis came with a bound.
He was dressed all in hemp, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of weed he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a dealer just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they're blood shot! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was dry,
And the beard of his chin was as white;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the THC contaminated smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he coughed like a bowlful of jello.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old grower,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the sun roof he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, he drove out of sight,
"Happy 4-20 to all, and to all a good-night.
Now where’s Krispy Kreme, I’m hungry."

Bushism: "But I also made it clear to [Vladimir Putin] that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe." -Washington DC; May 1, 2001

Link of the Day: National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws


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