Dept. Of Justice: TiVo Used For Surveillance Activities

A TiVo box/surveillance device in the home of a Minnesota family.

WASHINGTON D.C. (SFP &FM)--Today in a news conference held by the Department of Justice, Deputy Press Secretary Todd McDobvanich admitted that several government bureaus and agencies are conducting surveillance activities through the use of TiVo boxes. The list of individuals being watched by the federal government still remains confidential, but customers with the TiVo service are being held hostage by the television enhancing device.

"Its pretty ridiculous" said one Woodbury, Minnesota man. "I mean I talk about how I am not down with Bush and is gang, then when I leave my place to go to the store and I'm pulled over by federal agents for a 'broken tail light' after they shoot at my car. Then I get imprisoned for 32 hours straight with out being able to make a phone call, that's not right."

An anonymous TiVo developer revealed that the United States government is capable of listening to any conversation that occurs in a 900 sq. foot radius of the TiVo box. Customers are lured to the TiVo service with features such as pausing live TV, rewinding live TV, and digitally recording any program that is aired on television. Government agencies are able to record conversations, track library records, monitor all telecommunications activities and charge coffee purchases to the surveillance subject's credit accounts.

"I really love the fact you can record anything on TV!" said one happy TiVo customer, who has not realized the audio interference experienced while using TiVo is actually the federal government; not the fault of the family cat. "I really enjoy our ability to pick up phone conversations!" stated one FBI agent, who just found out that the family's teenage son is making phone calls to phone sex services. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) announced its intentions to file a law suit against the Department of Justice to stop the use of TiVo as a surveillance device in an emergency press conference held hours ago.

When reached for a comment, the TiVo company announced it's bold marketing move by offering TiVo in a number of different world markets. The television enhancement service will be extended by the end of 2005 to North Korea, Iran, Iraq, Syria, China, and Afghanistan.