Man Parachutes off Top of Sheehan Hall

Man BASE jumping off of Sheehan Hall.

WINONA, Minnesota (SFP & FM) - An anonymous thrill seeker and Winona State student parachuted off the top of the 13 floor Sheehan Hall residential dorm on Monday afternoon. The WSU Security force was unable to catch the jumper, who leaped inside of an idling car parked on Mark Street.

“Dude, if I jump from the highest place around here, the higher my test scores are man.” stated the jumper responding to his motives in an exclusive interview. “Also I wanted to be like Wille Coyote dude, that guy is the shit.”


Wille Coyote

The jumper asked to be known only as “Skippy.” Skippy later explained that it was a year long goal to become Winona’s first BASE jumper. The acronym “BASE” stands for building, antenna, span, and earth, which are the objects jumpers prefer to make their jumps from. Winona Police later put out a ransom of $10,000 and a ride in the armored anti-riot vehicle for any information that leads to the capture of the dare devil.

University President Darrell Krueger responded to the incident as “a part of the on going ignorance by students.” Krueger also explained that when the New University or Winona Experience plan becomes phased in, a special work group will be assigned to stop BASE jumping. He later expressed some relief in the fact that the jumper did not choose the newly named Darrell W. Krueger Library for his attempt.

WSU Security put out a description of the jumper as being a male, in his early 20’s, 130-250 lbs, 5’3’’-6’8’’ in height. If you have spotted anyone fitting this description please call the Winona Police Department immediately.